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Well, that’s really going to cut into my rigorous masturbation schedule, so, sorry, but go find yourself a different hero.
Submitted by: Unknown

Damn, that’s like some Tony Robbins-level stuff right there. Maybe as a bonus my family could get health insurance for two months if I work myself to death at my desk? Pretty please?
Via: The Daily What
Submitted by: Unknown

Now I can bring all 231 of them on vacation with me! Hooray!
Submitted by: JessK

Can what?! Don’t leave me hanging here!
Submitted by: Cherry

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…could I borrow some money for lunch?
Submitted by: Howard

Also, stop doing that disgusting thing to the toilets that you guys have done since Day 1. You ought to be ashamed.
Submitted by: Tim P.

Oh, the wonderful perfume of desperation…the standard bouquet of every office.
Submitted by: TfromLA

This drawing is definitely missing some fava beans and a nice chianti.
Submitted by: Rosalie

Fact: Batman is a serial arsonist.
Submitted by: buttslol