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Foil blocks out the secret government mind-control rays, and also all that liberal conspiracy book-learnin’. Very handy stuff.
Submitted by: Mugombie

Being the raddest dude in the office is a tiring, thankless task, but someone has to do it. Think of the children.

Your input is not appreciated, Clippy. Come back when I’m writing a letter.
Submitted by: Unknown

Did you get the memo about the giant spider infestation? Might wanna give it another look.
Submitted by: KeepAustinRetarded

This is why you can’t get a date. This right here.
Submitted by: DaGweeds

Face down, ass up, that’s the way we like to…manage inventory.
Submitted by: Malcolm Grant

And when we say “Blow out your candles,” we actually mean “We set all your files on fire.”
Submitted by: Melissa

Monkeys love balloons almost as much as they love throwing their own poop, and that’s a fact.

I can recognize the intentional sabotage of a fellow intern – excellent work, comrade.
Submitted by: Unknown