
Submitted by: Unknown
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It’s not all bad though! Freelancing offers lots of training you just won’t find elsewhere, like pretending not to cry while maintaining a phone conversation. Or spotting and nabbing cigarette butts off the sidewalk. Exciting stuff!
Source: Stuff No One Told Me

…and/or lack of pants ‘situation.’
Submitted by: Jinxy

Ever seen Cookie Monster with murder in his eyes? I have. Cookie is a helluva drug.
Submitted by: Unknown

Ever notice how “computer hacker” and “successful actor” rhyme? Rimshot!
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

Was someone seriously eating breakfast in the bathroom, or is this just the driest barf in the history of morning hangovers? (No offense, granola.)
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

Have fun explaining your ‘penguin friend’ to the police! Is that knife open source?
Submitted by: GlassDiamond via Submission Page

Sounds like someone’s basically begging Cindy to try and flush sandwich now. Big mistake.
Submitted by: taekwondogirl via Submission Page