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So…wait. Did Becky write this, or is someone calling her out? Well, while I mull it over, I’ll just go ahead and eat this lunch that someone thoughtlessly left sitting in the freezer.
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
Management is now hiring a handwriting expert.
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
If you have time to put water in the pot, how about actually making a fresh pot of coffee?
Thanks,
MgmtPlease direct me to mgmt.
You have too much free time on your hands. Now get back to work!
-X
(We couldn’t show the mustard—it had the ol’ goatse across it.)
Submitted by: C. Dekany via Submission Page
Or, Mr. Creepy, 12 people each took 1 muffin and everyone in the office hates you. Have a nice Thursday!
Submitted by: Andrew Farrell/Hannibal Tabu via Submission Page
Wait, they allow burritos in Utah?
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
To the Person who stole my Burrito.
Yours must be a truly unfortunate life to steal from someone currently receiving foodstamps from the Utah gov’t because their current wage is insufficient to cover their living expenses, tuition, and food. I will now go hungry today as I’m at the limit of my budget for this week.
It is my sincere wish that you burn in a lake of boiling cheese and refried beans not dissimilar to those found in my burrito. There you would dwell for a thousand years, with your skin constantly regenerating so that you can feel it being burned off your body yet again.
Sincerely,
Burrito LessTL;DR I hate you.
DUH. Don’t half-ass it though! Remember what I said about foreskins?
Submitted by: dunno source via http://mthruf.com/submit
BEWARE
One of your coworkers is a thief and so completely lazy that they stole my sandwich. They stole a HOMEMADE sandwich. Who steals food in the first place? And honestly, who steals a non-packaged product? Do you really want something someone else handled?
From now on, I suggest everyone sneezes on and profusely licks their food prior to bringing it to work.
I know I will.
Karma will find you.
How is it supposed to DO ANYTHING when you broadcast it like that? Plus no one believes you, Mr. Clever.
Now go back to your solitaire game and leave the wittiness to the professionals.
This probably explains the feathers stuck to the toilet bowl in 2nd stall from the left. It also explains why I’ve got fleas in my bush and screw you, I followed the letter of the law.
The office environment generally turns wise asses into guerrilla warfare EXPERTS. This not necessarily an honorable thing.
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