The combination of caffeine and high fructose corn syrup is widely known as “Cubicle Heroin.”
Submitted by: lokirisa via Submission Page
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Archive for the 'fridge battle' Category
Management Has Better Things To Do
Feb. 17, 2010
Management is now hiring a handwriting expert.
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
If you have time to put water in the pot, how about actually making a fresh pot of coffee?
Thanks,
MgmtPlease direct me to mgmt.
You have too much free time on your hands. Now get back to work!
-X
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Passive Aggressive, Much?
Feb. 12, 2010
(We couldn’t show the mustard—it had the ol’ goatse across it.)
Submitted by: C. Dekany via Submission Page
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Ominous Note Is Ominous
Feb. 11, 2010
Or, Mr. Creepy, 12 people each took 1 muffin and everyone in the office hates you. Have a nice Thursday!
Submitted by: Andrew Farrell/Hannibal Tabu via Submission Page
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TL;DR – I Hate You
Feb. 8, 2010
Wait, they allow burritos in Utah?
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
To the Person who stole my Burrito.
Yours must be a truly unfortunate life to steal from someone currently receiving foodstamps from the Utah gov’t because their current wage is insufficient to cover their living expenses, tuition, and food. I will now go hungry today as I’m at the limit of my budget for this week.
It is my sincere wish that you burn in a lake of boiling cheese and refried beans not dissimilar to those found in my burrito. There you would dwell for a thousand years, with your skin constantly regenerating so that you can feel it being burned off your body yet again.
Sincerely,
Burrito LessTL;DR I hate you.
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Upside? Amazing Immune System.
Feb. 5, 2010
DUH. Don’t half-ass it though! Remember what I said about foreskins?
Submitted by: dunno source via http://mthruf.com/submit
BEWARE
One of your coworkers is a thief and so completely lazy that they stole my sandwich. They stole a HOMEMADE sandwich. Who steals food in the first place? And honestly, who steals a non-packaged product? Do you really want something someone else handled?
From now on, I suggest everyone sneezes on and profusely licks their food prior to bringing it to work.
I know I will.
Karma will find you.
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Not-So-Sneaky Trap
Jan. 25, 2010
How is it supposed to DO ANYTHING when you broadcast it like that? Plus no one believes you, Mr. Clever.
Now go back to your solitaire game and leave the wittiness to the professionals.
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Dave Drinks Alone
Jan. 20, 2010
Listen up, passive-aggressive people – funnier, more charismatic co-workers will always run roughshod over you if you give them the chance. Do not try to outwit or out-cute them. Instead, inform everyone that you have a big ol’ foreskin and that you drag it across every item you bring to work. Check and mate!
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Class Clown
Jan. 3, 2010
The office environment generally turns wise asses into guerrilla warfare EXPERTS. This not necessarily an honorable thing.
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The Water Cooler
Akedos on He Prefers DMRs to ACRs darwin6 on Addendum to Jenning’s… lol on This Computer is Making Me Los… Chris on I Swear to God… mm on He Prefers DMRs to ACRs Erik on Shut Up and Take My Magnetized… senna on I Was Born Ready for This… Rehcsif on Forever a Drone Rehcsif on No Bulls***! MrSeagull on He Prefers DMRs to ACRs
