Thought the first round of horrible jobs was bad? Well there’s plenty more where those came from, thanks to some deep Googling and helpful user suggestions. From more jobs that involve the unwanted handling of feces to literally having your blood sucked, they just get worse and worse…
4. Ancient Egyptian Servant
For most of their lives, being a servant to a higher born individual such as the Pharaoh wasn’t too bad. Other than the whole “slavery” aspect of it all, really it was the average life-of-subservience type of existence. Things got real bad when their masters would die though. In many cases the common custom of the time was to construct elaborate tombs to be sealed for all of eternity…with the servants inside to keep their recently deceased bosses company in the afterlife should their services be required.
5. Leech Collector
Throughout the 19th century in the UK, medical advancement was largely non-existent. If you had chronic migraines, odds are you were probably burned as a witch. That being so, the cure for most other ailments was covering the body in leeches to suck the sick out of you. But before they could be used to cure your imbalanced humors, someone had to gather them. Typically this work was done by poorly paid Scottish women who would wade knee-deep into leech-invested waters. The parasites would latch onto their legs, where the collector would have to remove them before the they would cause you to pass out from either infection of massive blood loss.
6. Groom of the Stole
This last one really takes the cake. Dating back to the early 17th century, the Groom of the Stole was, for lack of a better term, the royal ass-wiper. Whenever a royal felt a bowel movement coming on, the groom would throw up some sheets around the nearest hole in the ground and undress the royal so as to expedite the process in a dignified manner. Once the business was finished, the groom would then clean, fragrance, and re-clothe the kingly buttocks.
Keep the suggestions coming in the comments, and maybe I can cobble together another addition to the series in the coming weeks. Discuss amongst yourselves, peons! –New Guy Nick
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Very interesting list, but “when their master’s would die” shouldn’t be possessive. No apostrophe necessary.
Groom of the Stool, not stole. Stool refered to the small chairs or cabinets with pans in the bottom that roylaty would use instead of simple chamber pots. The Groom of the Stool was for any time the king wanted to pop a squat, not just the outside times and was a highly sought after position. After all, it was one on one time with the king, and he was showing great trust in you by sharing such a vulnerable moment.
Royalty^
Looks like the term became interchangeable later in the history of the position (assuming Wikipedia is to be trusted in this instance).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groom_of_the_Stole
Cleaning someone’s bottom sounds like a better deal than being sealed in a tomb.
The Privy Counsellor was a similar position, although that’s only a generic term for someone with private access to the monarch.
There was a series on this called worst jobs in history presented by Tony Robinson
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-worst-jobs-in-history (may only work in the UK)
Verified working in US.
Stool, not stole.
I refer you to two posts above ^
I am not aware that many Egyptian slaves were buried with their masters. Most people of means had miniature clay figurines buried with them, and it was thought that in the afterlife the figurines would come to live and be servants. (Similar to Emperor Chin’s terracotta army.)
And, actually, leeches do not cause infections. Their spit is antiseptic. In fact, they are being used in medicine again to help limb reattachment patients (because they thin the blood and help it flow into the new limb) and patients with very poor circulation (e.g. diabetics) or blood clots. They also seem to be good for arthritis in joints, because their spit is not only numbing but anti-inflammatory too.
http://www.squidoo.com/medieval-medicine-reemerges
The original custom was slaves buried with their masters, but eventually the practice evolved to just the clay figures (I guess the whole “buried alive” thing didn’t fly for long).
As for the leeches, the infection would come when the leech would be pulled off before it had properly gorged. Prying it off too early would cause its teeth to become stuck in the host, which in turn would lead to infection.
exactly. and they were called “ushabti”s which means answerer. I’m glad there are other intelligent people on the interwebs!
google is rather intelligent these days
I’m not sure, but from what I have read and heard, there was no evidence of slaves being buried with their master. Another one of these stories is that the wife is entombed too, although she could send a concubine in as well.
Groom of the Stole = Aide in a nursing home.
Leaches are now used after a limb or phalanges are replaced after an accident to increase blood flow to the reattached part.
speaking as someone who’s had migraines, though, there were times that whole burning at the stake thing could look like a pretty attractive option.
That is a portrait of Henry the 8th, who ruled England 1509 to 1547.
Off with your head!
he knew how to treat a women. No sandwhich skills off with your head!
What about the guy employed by King Henry that had to stand in front of him and hold the cloth as he masturbated? That job had to blow. Or suck. Or both.
I know I saw this on that damn TV show about Henry the 8th (and it might not be true), but didn’t he use to have a guy that would have to hold a towel for him while he whacked it? That was pretty messed up.
If it can be counted as a job, being a Castrato was not much fun.
The job was fine. You were that time’s equivalent of a media star.
*Getting* the job, on the other hand, was a real pain.
To follow on Cerulean’s comments: it wasn’t just male sopranos who had to have their balls whacked off. To be part of the bureaucracy in the Byzantine empire, you had to be a eunuch. Hell of a job requirement just to push papyrus around.
Worst job ever? being the guy who was responsible for satisfying my ex. uuuugggghhhh.
Groom of the Stole isn’t too bad as long as it’s the queen or a princess
people still gather leeches today, it is a very unpleasent, bug ridden, sometimes 14 hour a day job, because people like to fish with leeches
But the vikings did send wives, slaves, livestock and pets with the chieftains when they died. Sometimes they were fortunate enough to be killed before the ship was torched.
Dog food taste tester!
I think hat pegboy should be added to this list.
*that not hat.
Actually Groom of the Stool was quite a sought after job, as it was only given to nobles on the Privy Council. Imagine the influence you could exert through essentially putting ideas in the King’s head while he’s at his weakest, doing a dump..
I don’t even care about influence, I would just be giddy about the cakewalk responsibility. If Bill Gates wanted to pay me to live in his house so I could be on call to wipe his ass once or twice a day I would take that job in a minute. What’s the LONGEST it could take, 20 min for the full buttcheek pamper?
As someone who once cleaned restrooms in a bar I would rather have direct contact with one civilized person’s bare ass than deal with the anonymous aftermath of several drunken animals.
“Throughout the 19th century in the UK, medical advancement was largely non-existent. If you had chronic migraines, odds are you were probably burned as a witch.”
The last witch-burning in the UK was (depending on sources) was in 1723.
So, funny article, but a few slip ups here and there.
The ancient egyptian entry (as an egyptologist) is utter bullshit