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The Water Cooler
mm on He Prefers DMRs to ACRs Erik on Shut Up and Take My Magnetized… senna on I Was Born Ready for This… Rehcsif on Forever a Drone Rehcsif on No Bulls***! MrSeagull on He Prefers DMRs to ACRs zarchasmpgmr on Nyan BART gloworm on Forever a Drone Drendel on I.E. Needs to Make Like K… Paulo on “Today, We’re…
my god this needs to be used everywhere! can we also make a “school” version for all the cry babies who get bullied?
This actually was used by a high school football coach in Wyoming. He wound up resigning as football coach, but is still employed as a guidance counselor. Go figure.
First off, the idea that if you are bullied, you are weak and feminine but if you are a bully, you are strong and masculine is just stupid. And instead of demeaning people who are bullied, why don’t we punish the true ‘pussies’ – the bullies. I get that this is supposed to be funny, but it isn’t. Sexism and punishing the victim is just stupid.
YOU…will definately be getting a wedgie!!!….NOW….STOP CRYING…put those dishes down…and c’mere…..oh…bring that rag with you……
True “bullying” in a workplace environment is called assault and will get you fired immediately and likely get you in jail as well. Hurt feelings are not even necesarily the fault of anybody but the sensitive whimp that feels hurt. This form is likely the result of people at the workplace feeling they have to walk on eggshells around a certain person or an employer getting fed up with every stupid little squabble that is brought to him.
There is such a thing as verbal harassment, you know.
William must live outside the US because the logic is linear, but here ‘bullying’ is a vague term for offensive and direct harassment, while our ‘harassment’ can be physical, verbal, sexual, etc. Assault is physical contact.
No, that’s “Battery”
From: edgarsnyder.com/legal-dictionary/
“Assault. A willful attempt or threat to harm another person, coupled with the present ability to inflict injury on that person, which causes apprehension in that person. Although the term “assault” is frequently used to describe the use of illegal force, the correct legal term for use of illegal force is “battery .”
Seriously? You sound like someone that should be filling this report out.
I do agree.
A little fun is alright, but this thing is not only insulting to the person, but also to women and homosexuals in general. It reveals an underlying sexism and homophobia.
If anyone did this at our workplace they’d get in trouble. Not only from our boss, but very likely the women and “queers” will also kick their butt.
Apart from 3. and 4. this is alright.
sir, i have a form i would like you to log your complaints on…
This would be ideal if it were slightly less gender-focused.
In any case I see your point, although the notion that ‘bullies’ are automatically ‘pussies’ is invalid, and there’s also a major problem of people being over-sensitive in the workplace.
Actually, yes bullies are Pussies. A bully is someone who targets those weaker or with less social protection then themselves. This means that the seek out confrontations in which they believe themselves certain to win, and they avois confrontations where there is a reasonable chance they may lose.
That is exactly cowardice. Therefore bullies=Pussies.
I’d also like to add that this was passed around at a school, not a workplace, so the audience was children. I think that bit of context makes my response a little more reasonable.
Being a victim is stupid. Letting yourself be bullied makes you deserve it. Stand up for yourself. I had a co-owrker who quit because he felt “people didn’t like him”. Right, I’m not paid to like my co-workers, I’m a professionnal, I do my thing, expect co-workers to do theirs and mess with anyone who’s asking for it. If they take it personally and get butt hurt over it, it’s their own problem, not mine. Complaining to my boss about my tyranical ways isn’t going to help them either, he’s on my side. Also, you’re a sissy.
Not true. People complained about the Bully coach who passed out this complaint form, and he was fired.
So that bullies boss wasn’t on his side.
Sounds like your just a cowardly little buttwipe who’s trying to intimidate people out of reporting him and getting him fired.
That or you’ve allready been fired for being a bully and you’re just lashing out while you’ve moved back into your stepmom’s basement.
lmao @ “girly man signature”
A coach got fired from coaching HS football (I assume) for using this “form.” They said he can be a counselor still, though. Fail on their part.
seriously, give him his coaching position back! freakin nothing but girly men in that administration!
We could use this for our office
Polo Shirts are one of the Douchebag uniform items, so you are either a semi-subtle troll are a total arsehat.
where’s the original? I wanna print out a bunch of them and post them at one of those Occupy(city of your current unemployment) camps.
Obvious troll is obvious.
Please return to 4chan.
Obvious sissy is obvious.
Go back to class and get bullied by the closest alpha male.
Posting under a diffrent name and email account to defend yourself is just proof that you are a coward and a troll.
Your lashing out in such a pitiful manner is an obvious manhood fail.
Return to 4 chan before I call your mom and she takes away your internet and your Brony dolls.
Glasgow.
Go on, try it. We’ll cheer your ambulance as it passes.
The unemployment rate in the OWS is actually several percentage points lower then the national average. The percentage of combat veterans in the OWS is HIGHER then the national average.
My husband’s workplace has implemented new rules that say you mustn’t hurt anyone’s feelings. Someone is texting for hours? Don’t tell on them, you’ll hurt their FEELINGS. A guy is standing around talking all day, not doing his job? Ditto. You can’t smoke here, but if someone does, do not tell on them, as it will hurt their feelings. The newest one is, they took the after lunch and break buzzer away because it may hurt the feelings of those who are late getting back to work. Good luck with those new rules, and the rate of production…apparently grownups need to be treated like kindergarteners.
Yeah, but if they got rid of those new rules someone might tell your husband to do his gd job instead of sitting around worrying that other people are texting and smoking, and that might hurt his feelings.
^ this
Well look at it this way, what’s easier for a company: to fire the one asshat that annoys everyone and makes work difficult for them, or to keep replacing the 10~ people that end up quitting every year?
Judging from the places that I have worked at. Keeping the asshat and replacing everyone who quits.
Usually, it’s one sissy for 10 bullies. Remember school, the kid who always got picked on, by everybody? Same thing, only now he’s paid to take it like a man and do his job, not to complain about how everyone hates his guts for no reason…
Fail
So, no female employees (or students or whatever this was used for)? Not too useful in the workplace then, is it?
We’re “manlier” than the “little sissy” and can take it “like a man”.
(I can only imagine that the ultra-feminists out there just started crying when I wrote that. Then again, they don’t have a sense of humour and don’t amuse themselves on the internet anyways).
Your troll powers are weak.
BTW Using a female name on here doesn’t fool anyone into not believing that you are a prepubescent mouth breather with self esteem issue. HAve fun growing up to be a lifetime virgin.
Projectioning, much?
“amanda” has a point, girls would rather lock themselves up in the bathroom and cry about it than go to their superior to file a complaint. While it’s not technically “taking it like a man”, is a step up from a sissy’s tattling to the boss.
Your troll powers are weak.
I’m happily married and have over a decade in the profession my college education trained me for.
Your weak attempt to accuse me of the failings that you are guilty of only serves to reinforce the Failblog readers knowledge of your prepubescent and emasculated nature.
I banish you until you testicles descend and you graduate from college with a job producing degree.
And that applies to any further pseudo-names you may use to try to pretend that anybody not on 4Chan has ever agreed with anything you have ever said.
“Easliy”?
Isn’t this grounds for a lawsuit? Sounds like a HUGE HR issue to me.
If you do a search you can find several variations of this in PDF format.
I managed to put a stanley knife through my hand cutting plastic to go under my toolbox at work and was handed one of these. The guy who handed it to me thought it was hilarious untill i bled all over his desk
Here’s the better version. Looks exactly like an official DA (department of the Army) form. http://www.patriotfiles.com/forum/imgcacheA/13331.png
Ha, I keep a folder of these copied on pink paper.
This linked one has a poorly altered “Navy” over Army. I’m glad someone else has seen the DA Form version
To all those who say this is offensive: They are expressions. In an R-rated action movie if someone says “you’re toast” do you feel sorry for bakers? Do bakers go on strike nationally and sue the director of the film?
If you feel insulted by an indirect phrasing as up above, you are everything that is wrong with this world. I constantly hear slander in my workplace and I did everyday when I was in school. We laugh and get along like adults.
Unless you are being insulted in front of a customer or physically harmed, you have no right to complain. You are why no one can have funny jokes even in our own homes. You will NEVER tell me how to think or speak. If you wish to be homosexual, good for you but don’t make the rest of us pay the price.
So you say, but if I was ever handed one of these in my workplace, I would immediately proceed to carve out the eyes of whatever bastard gave it to me with the first sharp implement I could get my hands on.
There is no indirect phrasing in the above memo. It quite clearly states that gays and women are pathetic and can’t handle anything. Also, last time I checked, toast wasn’t human, nor did it have ‘feelings’.
Sooo, let me get this straight. You DO think that ALL homosexuals and women are inferior and weak (or weak-minded, at least). The price YOU pay for someone else being homosexual is relinquishing the freedom to THINK? If you can’t have ‘funny’ jokes in your own home, maybe your wife is the reason, not everyone else, in which case a divorce is in order (so that you may have your ‘funny’ and she can have some sanity), and my congratulations to the lucky lady.
In conclusion, you sir, are an arsehole, and also the reason why sh!t like this is even still around.
P.S. I happen to agree with Zero above. If someone handed me this, I’d carve out his testicles. “Why ‘his’?” you might ask. Because no one with ovaries and a brain actually thinks this is funny.
I have ovaries and a brain and I think this is hilarious.
I call BS. Based on the evidence of you being amused by this I beleive you are a 4Chan female.
Which is to say either a 9 year old boy, or a 37 year old male living in a refurbished attic above his parent’s garage.
Hat. Tipped.
Common sense; you don’t know what it means.
Just how small are your genitals? Just out of curiosity?
About the same size as every other troglodyte tyke, who is going to grow up to drive a lowered Dodge neon with speakers the size of his wheels. Which would be about twelve times the size of his gonads.
i cry because whoever wrote this form cannot spell “Easily”
OMG – I LOVE THIS – I had a co-worker for years who was the biggest “woman” around – I had to walk on eggshells so I wouldn’t hurt his feelings when he did something wrong! AuuugH!!!! He drove me crazy! (oh, and before someone complains I can call him a “woman” ’cause I IZ one – that’s the rule.)
Actually no it doesn’t. All it means is that you are a tool of people who see women as weaker and inferior.
That or that you are full of self hate.
Neither one of which justifies your words.
I am a woman with brains and I find this hilarious. Then again, I also married a man who cries at Hallmark cards and Lifetime movies…. We will be divorced in February. LOL True Story.
Wow – I thought this was funny, even though it obviously used some language that was not ideal.
It’s called A JOKE.
When did we, as a country, lose our sense of humor?
Seriously, some of the comments are amazing. I read them, because as soon as I saw “hormones” on the form, I knew someone was going to be complaining, and I was right.
Grow up. Get your toes back where they belong and they won’t get stepped on. It’s a joke. LAugh. Crack a smile. You might like it.
o, it’s not a joke.
These are the complaint forms used by a HIGH SCHOOL COACH.
If at that school and on those teams and classes he taught if you tried to complain about being assaulted and/or battered, this is the form the teacher gave you to fill out.
Stuff like this is what causes children to take a gun to school.
This is a pro-douchebag joke.
WTF is up with #9. I don’t get it. It sounds like this company is saying you shouldn’t complain about getting sodomized. o.O
Ok, first off, this was passed out in a High school. Secondly, anyone who thinks that females are the weaker gender should try and push out an 8+lb bowling ball-you know, that whole “child birth” thing?! As a female, I find this offensive, but would not complain about it. Why? Because I would be too busy being arrested for kicking the s**t out of the jack wagon who did it.
This isn’t funny, it’s abusive and condescending.
Are my feelings easily hurt? No.
Is your face? Yes.
Moral of story: don’t be an a**hat
^this
^this indeed
The c-section rate is extremely high, and increasing. Your argument is invalid.
Your argument is doubly invalid.
The increase in the rate of C sections has nothing to do with women being unwilling to face a regular birth. Hospitals can charge Insurers more for the surgical procedure and post-operative recovery then for a live birth. Therefore hospital administrations are pushing doctors to push women towards unnecessary elective Cesarean Sections in the name of increased profits.
secondly: Any procedure which violates the inter-abdominal wall involves a long and painful recovery period. Therefore a Cesarean section is at least as tough and painful as a regular birth.
My mother has over thirty years as a labor and delivery nurse, both in hospitals and home births.
Perhaps you should have consulted an expert before you shot your mouth off about a subject you are ignorent of.
oh wow, im sure all the guys around you are constantly in fear of getting tapped on the cheek when you get mad
So why is this on a humor site? Misogyny and homophobia aren’t funny to anyone with more than two brain cells to rub together.
AMEN.
I had this up in my repair shop for years and then the Equal oppertunity office worker male walked by to say hi and saw this…it is gone now
(could offend a woman) (woman in shop posted it)
Damn oppertunities
I am thinking that this is something that could be a lawsuit waiting to happen. If the wrong person got their feelings hurt by the hurt feelings complaint.
Well. That obviously isn’t sexist at all.
We legitimately have these up at work. I, serving as HR dept. get at least 2 a week. Other than that, I’m payed to sit on my ass and go on memebase and facebook all day.
Sorry, but I call BS.
IIf your company had these up at work you would have been shutdown by a big fat employee lawsuit by now.
You fail.